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The statistics show that the majority of persons interested in BDSM sex
had happy childhoods with no incidents of abuse. Consensual BDSM is not
abuse. It is an act of love and pleasure.
The idea that sexual orentation is a reaction to unresolved emotions, a holdover from Freudian ideas and Victorian attitudes that all sexual abbe rations are a form of mental illness. Once masturbation was thought to be a symptom of mental illness. BDSM is not a mental illness. My Dominance is a sexual orientation, just like being gay is a sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is mostly imprinted before the age of 5.. I was tying up my Barbie doll and torturing her, long before sex came into the picture, in any form. My Dominance is not solely directed towards men, either... I have female slaves too... tho I do believe that leadership is better in the hands of women. My fem Dom stance, aside from my sexual orientation, is also very useful as a form of spiritual teaching and empowerment for both genders, because of the Patriarchal culture we are living in that says men must always be in control and never cry, and women must be silent, self sacrificing and polite. I do not disagree with the classic fem-receptive, male-agressive paradigms. As I mentioned before, the root of that behavior has been found in DNA. Women have a gene that lets them pick up manners and social conscience as automatically as they pick up language. This gene is switched off in the male fetus, which is why boys must be trained to be polite and not behave like something out of "Lord of the Flies". Why it is easier to train men to kill, as in the Military. Why men can become very abusive towards those they have power over, as in the current statistics of male violence against women and children shows. Women are naturally more concerned for the common good of the community, and have the brain structure to be able to do several things at once.. they make better leaders... but the will to power comes from the male aggression. My Fem Dom teachings have their real flowering, when you consider the Jungian concept that the unconscious mind manifests as the opposite gender of the body, the "Divine Beloved". The opposite gender side of the individual identity. Kundalini has a androgynising effect, as the karma is released, the ego-identity merges into the unconscious. At it's deepest level, the unconscious is the Collective.. All that Is. All intuitive and spiritual experiences come into perception thru the unconscious, it is the window to Spirit. Female Dominance, the way I practice it, works as a kind of Yoga.. The ego surrenders to being a slave/vessel of the unconscious gender, and gives up conscious free will, in favor of letting the smarter part of their mind, make the decisions and control the body. The deeper the surrender of the ego polarity to the unconscious self, the more the individual becomes a vessel of Spirit.
A basic Zen concept.. moving into the polarity to find the middle path..
the place of balance.
The mental gender collision/merger brings up the culturalization Karma
of gender roles, to be released. Both genders end up wrestling with
cultural labels that are threatening to the ego.... a Dom woman is a Bitch,
a sub male is a wimp.. la la.. and surrendering them. Teaching people to act from the will of their unconscious gender, and be a vessel for it, his has an incredible balancing and empowering effect on both genders. It also leads them into discovering the greatest love affair there is, their personal relationship with their own Divinity. Women becoming Dominant learn to accept their power, and become aware of how the threat of being labeled "unladylike" has been used to repress their natural inner warrior, their intuition and their defenses against being victimized. I have found that learning Dominance, as I teach it, is incredibly empowering for those abused women you speak of, as it helps them to get beyond their present victim state. They learn to speak their truth and to behave aggressively in service to their own well being, and to the greater good of the community. The male drive to power is filtered thru the feminine form/vessel which seeks the community well being and harmony. Men who have always been expected to take charge, find a freedom in surrender that is unparalleled. Men tend to use one side of the brain at a time, and thus they can be very single minded on achieving their goals, to the detriment of their emotional well being, and their community. Thru their fem side, they learn to weep, and to love, and to find fulfillment in acts of in service to other. Heroes put women and children first, like on the Titanic... they don't abuse them.
Men who surrender to their fem side, wake up the gene that was switched
off before birth, peel off the armor, and discover empathy... and the
strength there is, in vulnerability and surrender. Thru the "twin soul" of the unconscious, Spirit speaks. God-dess takes a form that we can love, and thru the unity of love we become that.
My male side takes the form of Archangel Michael, he of the sword of
judgment.. a formidable warrior of light. Tempered by a vessel of feminine
gentleness, the sword is softened to a whip, and further softened to a
spanking and a hug from the Mother Goddess.
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