What her slave said...
Dear Mistress:
i retrieved Your package last Friday afternoon. i didn't do so earlier because i felt that I wasn't prepared for the extreme state of arousal that was sure to follow. Thank you very much for the package and Your note.
You had asked me during the previous conversation as to
what sort of a photo i may have preferred. Having no idea
as to what the selection was i answered that i would be
happy to let You decide for me, believing that any photo
would be a suitable image for adoration and veneration. In
my case, a shot of You in a T shirt and jeans would have
more than sufficed. What an extraordinary surprise then as
i gazed upon Your image!
You are truly extremely beautiful
even obscured in mask. As for the leather clad torso below
which long legs are spread to prominently display a large
bright pink rubber penis, i presume that You had chosen that photo
by design rather than coincidence in which case Your
intuition is unfailing accurate. Your insight is both
frightening, yet comforting. Frightening because i am now
convinced that my inner most desires and needs are entirely
transparent to You and comforting because it is likewise
apparent that You possess both the insight and the power to
compel me to confront what i have always hoped for and yet
feared: which is to embrace my destiny and become, with Your
kind assistance and under Your tutelage, an enthusiastic and
totally obedient slave.
The closet door , though opened before, can no longer be shut. Now, though i continue to hide inside, i am no longer naked - i wear Your collar locked securely about my neck, Your leash is fastened to the D ring, i am no longer permitted to stand but must kneel, i feel the tension increase, it feels good because i know that resistance is futile, inhibition inconsequential.
i am glad to be denied choice, to have no choice but submit, or face the prospect of being compelled to submit, is now for me the greatest of freedoms and joys. i know that at any time, when it may please You , the tension may increase and i will be drawn to kneel, in abject submission, at Your feet, my lips pressed hard upon the toes of Your boots, there to experience the privilege of continuing my training.)
i felt proud, grateful, happy, and relieved to be regarded as Your property and be referred to as Your slave although i have been able to do little to deserve that honour. i have regarded myself as Your apprentice slave since first having the privilege of talking with You. After my first letter to You received a favorable response it was as though You had a steel collar secured and then welded around my neck. One which was destined never to removed unless You grew tired of me. i assumed that it was my responsibility to ensure, in whatever small ways my nature and situation would allow, that the collar stays securely in place. my happiness and sanity have come to depend on its presence.
Nonetheless, much inhibition lingers. During my first call to You,-You asked me what i wished to experience. i was too self conscious to answer specifically stating that i wished to do whatever might please You. You answered that You wished to have me wash Your car, though You doubted that that was what i had in mind. Had i been able to answer Your question directly i may never have had the opportunity to wash Your limo, and as such would have been denied an important event in my transformation. Thank you again.
Should You wish in the future to know what desires are hidden in the recesses of my mind i will, of course, have no choice but to answer You openly and honestly. i have great difficulty obscuring the truth in daily life and it would be impossible to do so in response to any of Your questions especially so if i were to find myself in Your presence. Still, i am motivated primarily to pleasing my Mistress and hope to derive any pleasure that i may be allowed to experience by attending to Your needs and performing whatever tasks You demand to Your satisfaction. This is not only due to my nature but is also a condition of my status. i accept that whatever choice may be offered is entirely at the discretion of my Mistress.
Of course there are sure to be many practices and routines which are both new and perhaps both initially unappealing and even frightening to me. i will attempt, as best i am able, to respond correctly and enthusiastically to whatever training regime You may decide is both most appropriate and effective to make me into a slave who is not only unquestionably obedient but becomes one whom You might cherish and be proud to own. As such You have the unconditional right to subject me to a program of training which will, in Your opinion alone, most effectively make me into the slave You wish me to become.
Thank you very much for the opportunity to become a useful slave. To become one, more correctly to be trained to be one, is not only a dream but (whether unfortunately or not ) a necessity. Of course it would be a honour and a privilege to be allowed to wash Your limo again. i'll strive to do it more methodically this time and will also clean the interior. i realize that it is not for me to decide how i may be of use to You whatever opportunity there may be for me to contribute to Your well being is of course gratefully accepted) so what follows is merely a suggestion.
Please be assured that despite my apparent reluctance, my definite inhibitions, my excuses, i am grateful to merely have made Your acquaintance to say nothing about being able to correspond with You and having the chance to serve You. I am grateful and honoured to be, at least in a modest way, Your slave. i acknowledge without question Your Dominion and total Supremacy over me. You are without question or limitation the Owner, Mistress, Goddess, of my inner most being. Although i am new to most of this, and though i am no more than and may never be more than a minor addition to Your stable my greatest happiness is derived from meeting Your approval.
i may have told You that i had hoped to find a source: a
knowledgeable woman; one whom i would respect, confide in,
trust, one to whom i could turn to in need, and possibly ,
just maybe submit to. It was merely an entertaining
intellectual exercise to begin with. i have found all of
that and considerably more. More than i bargained for. The
first fetter was secured when first i heard Your laugh.
Your wit, Your ease and charm drew me closer. i wrote this
summer to pass the time though what i wrote was sincere. i
studiously avoided writing about B&D, sexual fantasies and
the like believing, among other things, that that would
leave me less vulnerable. Yet here i sit in wonder and in
awe my inner self more securely restrained in a bondage that
exceeds by far the physical restraints imposed on the most
masochistic slaves languishing in the dungeons of their
Mistresses. i had thought that this might happen... i may
have hoped it might happen... i did think that at the last
moment, before it was too late to retreat, that the fantasy
would end - i would make it end, i would escape and
congratulate myself on winning another interesting mind
game...never did i imagine that i would be caught and happy
to be caught - to be as content, as elated and exhilarated
as i am presently: (and will be for as long as I am able to
amuse and please my Mistress ) naked, cuffed, collared,
leashed, genitals secured , my total being restrained,
captive to the whims of my Mistress.
You are beautiful, You are knowledgeable, You are highly capable and skilled. You are powerful. It is apparent that You are not merely a Seductress - but a Goddess. One who appeals to and dominates with ease not only ones sexual needs and aspirations but also one's mind and intellect. But it is neither Your Beauty, nor the allure of Your craft and Your expertise in these matters which holds me now. What is it? i can only speculate. My vantage point is not the best because giving thought to these matters puts me in a frame of mind which, from the standpoint of rational, critical, thought, can best be said to be unsound. Still i go on. What holds me is Your apparent acute understanding. Your empathy. My trust.
In fantasy it is truly as if Your phrase concerning my aspiration to be a "useful slave" and Your invitation to acquire me as one places me before an open door. The door opens onto a very small sparsely furnished cell. You have led me here without comment i know instinctively that i must make a choice. If i fail to enter i will never see this door open again. You offer no encouragement, no counsel, no reproach. You are silent. i am naked. i can easily go upstairs, dress, and leave. i enter the cell. On the floor lie wrist, and ankle restraints as well as a substantial collar. They are padded, fitted with a locking mechanism and all seemingly made of metal. The collar is fixed to the floor by a length of chain. The cuffs meant for both wrist and ankles are joined by chain. Oddly an additional length of chain joins the wrist restraints to the ankle restraints midway, such that one placed in them can not hope to rise to his feet. i would like to look at them, handle them, fondle them, smell them. i do not. I want to luxuriate in this strange intoxicating environment. If i were here alone i would masturbate. These observations and thoughts take place in an instant. Before they pass i find myself on my knees in the middle of the floor. i take hold of the collar in both hands and place it about my neck. It is too tight! i am wildly excited yet more conscious than at any time before. i calm myself, exhale, squeeze one side of the collar into the other. It locks with a resounding, bright, metallic "click". i quickly don both ankle and wrist restraints. They too easily, smoothly, lock into place even though it seemed as though it would be awkward to secure my wrists behind my back. You remain at the door. You say nothing. No congratulatory message. No comment. i see a key on the floor. i lower my head and after an annoying struggle succeed in picking it up and holding it between my lips. i turn, raise and extend my head in Your direction. The collar's chain grows tight. i implore You with my eyes to "please, oh please" take the key. An eternity passes. You acquiesce. Relief washes over me.
You turn to leave. i can't belief it. "Is that all?", i think. i struggle, i call out. You turn and approach. You pet my head and ask me to open my mouth. i obey instinctively. i feel a gag fill my mouth . You quickly and efficiently tighten and secure it in place. i am bewildered, hurt, momentarily outraged. i struggle against the bonds which hold me so securely. i lunge forward to place my lips upon the toes of your boots. It is to no avail. They are out of reach. Just barely - if i could extend my tongue it would reach - but it may as well be an infinity. i'm lost, an island of despair in a sea of indifference (stolen from Freud). You ask me to look into your eyes and there i see the answer: every action, every device applied, each routine, whatever apparent indignity or humiliation or episode of discipline which i am compelled to endure, in addition to giving You pleasure, has been administered to ensure that i am freed from the torment of self doubt, inhibition, and pride to become what i have since the dawn of my sexual consciousness so desperately wished to be: a loyal, devoted, faithful and obedient slave - the property of my Mistress. Thus reassured i see You turn on elevated heels to leave. The door closes. It too locks. The light is extinguished. The sound of Your foot steps fade to be replaced by the sound of blood careening at high pressure through the veins of my head; my neck, my ears, my brain. Soon silence as well as darkness envelope me. i am at ease. i have learned that wherever i may be and in whatever situation i may find myself the darkness can only be turned to light when i am again called upon to attend to my Mistress's needs.
Post Script: i hope that You find some of this somewhat entertaining. i'm sure that You have read many similar accounts before. Though it is new and exciting for me i am sure that it is routine for You. But such is my nature. As I stand before the gates of ecstasy it may well be that i find both heaven and hell on the other side. To take refuge in cliche; "Best to have tried and failed rather than to have not tried at all", or to corrupt another well worn saying; "A faint heart never made a fair slave.".
Though i write while painfully aroused i am of clear mind. i would like to think that i am not burdened by illusion but , as You know all too well, that is highly unlikely. You now own completely my inner self which was first drawn to You. Along with it comes the entirety of my being a good part of which must function in the daily world. Please take care of me. Should You grow tired of me, at that moment, i will stumble painfully upon the realization that i have lost the one great opportunity for adventure, happiness, and fulfillment which may be granted me in this lifetime.
my only remaining concern is to wonder how i could have
been so fortunate as to be chosen, to enjoy the privilege of
being accepted as a slave in training by One who is so
knowledgeable and formidable. How can I possibly serve Her
well. Will She at least in some way find me pleasing, amusing, and useful?
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