Date: Wed, 13 Aug 1997 01:41:42
To: P@***
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
Cc: Kundalini email list
Subject: Re: question

    S. Wrote:<< Since my k came spontaneously, I don't have the background that many of you do. I suppose a lot of you will think this is a stupid question, but I'd really appreciate an answer. Some of you have indicated that the k ran for many years. What happens? Does it run until you're fully "awakened" and then stop? Or what? And where does that leave you if/when it stops?

P. wrote:
    Dear S.
    Also new to kundalini and also awakened "spontaneously," I asked the same questions you ask.

Mystress responds:
    Me three.. at age 12, near as I can figure.. but there are some psychic experiences from even younger that make me wonder if I was ever really asleep. Using the elegantly structured vocabulary of Kundalini as explanation for my lifetime of odd experiences is relatively recent.

P. wrote:
    I was told that these "surges" of cruder energy we now experience eventually become integrated into a constant flow of finer energy as our consciousness rises to a state of sustained awareness.

Mystress responds:
    Big stuff. and questions asked most often,.. let me see if I can explain it more fully.. as I understand and experience it.
   
    Your spirit knows that you are God-dess. You ego thinks that you are a limited human subject to 3-d realities, and one of the ways it maintains this illusion of not God-dess is by holding fear and illusions of separation in the body.
    Kundalini's task is to translate the Spirit's experience of being God-dess into the human experience. Knowing absolutely that Thou art God-dess, and acting like it, with all the bliss, wisdom and miracles.
    To get from here to there, K. clears out the fears, attachments and stuck energy that's blocking the energy of spirit, which you experience as power surges and emotional events.
    It brings the karmic baggage into your awareness as issues and insights, burns them away as heat and tingling.. until all the old ego-oriented fear/separation junk is gradually cleared out, gone, and you live with a sense of the divinity of all things, that doesn't go away.

The body goes from being under control of the ego, manifesting limitations, to being a direct manifestation of spirit, manifesting miracles. For spirit to fully occupy that space, it needs to persuade ego to step aside, to give up the deeply held fears.
   
    It is like you are building a house, with Spirit. Spirit is in charge, has the blueprints, but is generous in allowing breaks, etc.
    To begin with, you will be guided doing big stuff, major power, bulldozers and cement trucks, big holes torn in the property and foundations laid. Huge loads of timber and building supplies incoming, and progress is very visible. You can see it happening, but it is such major work, there are lots of days spent resting. Waiting for the right weather.
    Then the frame structure is up, and we can begin to see how the house will be, but it is not livable shelter yet. The internal walls start to go up, and there is a period of being very righteous and judgemental of others as we sort out what each room is for. Plumbing and heating being installed and tested and retested, flushed repeatedly... electrical surges as the power is tested and wired.. uncomfortable and startling, but necessary.

The closer the house gets to being completed, the smaller the visible activity, and the more time you spend working on it. Then you are spending more time in the house.. but you are polishing hardwood and installing shelves.. painting and adding trim. Progress is nearly constant, but not nearly so noticeable.. Moving furniture in is sometimes the biggest activity.. some heavy things that you have chosen.. it's a studious period, and choosy. The judgementalism is tempered with the comfort that others may decorate as they please, but your house is you.
    Then you are living there, with spirit, and the work in a home never ceases, but carpets get vacuumed with a sense of gratitude and joy, at having a beautiful home with carpets and spirit for company as you work.
    Spirit sends you out for groceries sometimes, errands, but the alarms and sprinkler systems are in, the earthquake proofing.. protected by it's joy.. you know the house is there to come home to, which is the difference between vacations and homelessness. Awakened and not. "Work" becomes inviting friends in to share the comfort of your home, and connecting them with spirit so they can build a home of their own.
    Occasionally Spirit might decide an airplane falling into the roof, or something is a nice surprise, a reason to redecorate.. more big influxes of creation/destruction energy as the fallen airplane is dealt with.. and spirit is there to make you laugh with joy as the favorite room is demolished to make a new room so amazing you cannot even imagine.. you will live in the house for the rest of your life, and the more you allow spirit to make decisions, the more beauty, love, pleasure, inspiration.. your house will radiate like a lighthouse beacon, and the things that you desire will come to your door looking for you, and you will invite them in without apology for imperfections in the home that receives them.
    You will be utterly fearless, and without limitations, safe in the knowledge that Spirit can fix a fallen airplane into a room even more beautiful.. and will, every time.

So in the beginning there are the bulldozers and cement trucks, and at the end only the odd dishes to wash, with the odd falling airplane. The moments of divine grace are no longer fleeting.. you live there.

P. wrote:
    told that we are at the same time creating an energy body with consciousness independent of the physical body, as part of the human evolutionary process.
    I'm beginning to think that the biggest challenge to learning about kundalini is that most of those who have been through the process successfully do not speak about it.

Mystress responds:
    Really? Sometimes it seems like everybody whose ever had an awakening has written a book about it. Few have Kundalini in the title, but I have read lots of books on spiritual awakenings, that I recognize as k., that didn't mention the K. word at all. If I had written my own biography a few years previous, it would also have described some spiritual openings that I now use the vocabulary of Kundalini to describe, but I did not have that vocabulary then.

P. wrote:
    Maybe this is partly because spiritual development is ultimately a solitary and singular path for each of us, and because so much of spiritual learning is incomprehensible until you know it. And even when you know it, you cannot necessarily describe it. Maybe that's the reason for that expression: "Those who tell don't know, and those who know don't tell."

Mystress responds:
    There is also the idea that enlightened folks who go around saying that they are enlightened and talk about how to get there are somehow suspect.. we enlightened ones are all supposed to be sooooo humble.. and it doesn't wash with me.. Goddess does not require me to prostrate myself before Her, She would rather be my ecstatic creative companion.
    Hiding a light under a bucket is a dumb idea, unless the light is keeping you awake, causing stares, or bruising tomatoes mercilessly..:D
    It kind of reminds me about how people are around money.. If you are rich, it is considered rude to talk about how much money you have, because those who don't have as much will be jealous, and those who have as much will think you are trying to compete, and those who have more will look down on you for boasting.. (unless you are talking to the taxman..) Yet, I like to celebrate my abundance with sharing, as an affirmation of Gratitude.

    P. wrote:
    So, none of us gabbing on the internet will have absolute answers for you but will be a tool for learning. And when people claim to have absolute answers for you, remember that their reality may very well be true for them, but you will create your own.
   
    P.
   
    Mystress responds:
    Hmm.. absolute answers are absolute:
    Goddess loves you unconditionally.
    Things always work out for the best.
    Our lives are divinely guided.
   
    Experiences and choices are different for individuals.
    Yet we all mirror each other, and cannot even see qualities in others that are not somehow mirrored in ourselves.
    I AM All. So art thou.
    Inside reflects outside reflects inside, as above so below..
    more absolute answers..
    but as you say, one cannot encompass the meaning fully by reading the words.
   
    Part of the reason for silence on my part, sometimes, is faith that everyone is really having exactly the experiences they most need, to grow.
    That things always really do work out for the best..
    Faith in that idea creates a focus on gratitude and blessings that has tremendous power to shift events.. into silver linings.. but telling that truth to someone who is frightened by events, or grieving, is not helpful to them.
    Not until they have been lifted up enough, away from the vibration of fear space and back into love and trust, to be able to apply the words to the understanding of the experience to profitable result.
    Till then telling someone in crisis that they "always get what they believe they deserve most", or "what goes around comes around" or "it must
    be your Karma".. will probably send them into a tailspin of negative self- judgement, and likely they will decide you must really hate them, so say such an awful thing.. when the intent was affirmation of the perfection of spirit's plan.
    Yet it is my truth, and I know that safe in the arms of Goddess K, there is really nothing to fear but fear itself, we are all spirit having human experiences, crisis is only excitement/change/fear noise, and the universe is unfolding as it should.
    Not needing to fix everything, the universe is already perfect, and nothing needs fixing. Letting people have their experiences, but giving help when requested directly. Or when spirit moves to speak, for the creative joy of communicating my truths to the expansion of another. For the creative joy of creating.. that is why I keep incarnating.
    There is one thing that we do for each other on this list that is very valuable: we are salesmen to each other's egos, we help each other to persuade our ego with it's fears, to step aside in favor of spirit's guidance. We give each other the reasons and explanations that our logical ego needs, to buy into the idea that it is better off not to be in charge anymore. We give each other the sales routines to get ego to accept that "everything happens for the best", when it is insisting on perceptions of errors and fear.
    Bless us! -Angelique.