Many years ago, I was looking for the key to happiness... and Goddess drew me into SM. Sounds funny, but it is true. When I went into the Light around 1990, I got confirmation of something Richard Bach had taught me... that we really do have a lot of power to create whatever we want, in our lives... and that what limits us from doing so, is us. We limit ourselves. Understanding that, was a whole other deal, but a few months after that I was thinking about my learning curve, and decided that I had had enough of learning from pain, and if I really did have the power to create my life, I would start to learn from joy, bliss and happiness.

Expressing this aloud to myself, I felt the resonance... like the whole universe has just shifted, been destroyed and recreated so that my prayer would be granted. Well and good, and I promptly went back to learning the things the hard way. The universe had confirmed that the possibility existed, it was up to me, to learn how to do it. That took some time... the unfolding of my spiritual path.

I needed to learn to understand happiness better. I had experienced happiness to know what it felt like, but I wanted to understand what it IS. To dig into the root causes of what makes people happy, and unhappy. Researching what makes people unhappy, brought me to psychology, particularly the ideas of Wilhelm Reich, via Robert Anton Wilson.

Reich theorized that the root of all unhappiness, mental illness and social problems, was sexual repression. Did not take more persuasion for me to begin researching sex, and sexual behavior. Sometime around when I was studying BDSM I noticed how my body was responding, and discovered a part of myself that I never knew... my sexual orientation. Un-repressing myself was next on the agenda.

I also realized that masochists had a lot to teach me, about happiness.
    I figgered, anyone who could experience being tied up and tortured, an experience most people would run a mile from, and enjoy it, bliss out on it, had something very important to *teach* me, about happiness. They did teach me, and I give the information back. Not just to SM newbies looking for understanding, but for regular folks looking for more happiness and fulfillment out of life.

Much is said of emotional bondage, karmic bondage... yet, in making the metaphor physical, people find... freedom! Some find peace, some have out of body experiences, some enjoy the freedom from responsibility and decision making. Freedom from activity... stillness.

Much is said of the pain in life... yet, pain can be changed to pleasure, through gratitude and surrender. Not just physical pain, but emotional pain as well.

That has been my specialized field of study for the last few years... what I teach. :) I can explain it, because I know it... experientially. Pain comes of resistance. When you resist the flow of life, there is pain and struggle.

The key to happiness and fulfillment, is an attitude of acceptance and gratitude. Unconditional gratitude... count your blessings, and count the pain in life, as a blessing, too... and it becomes one. It changes into bliss.

It's easy... here is how I teach people about the switch in their heads, that turns pain to pleasure... or any sensation to pleasure, but pain is most dramatic...

Reading it won't give understanding, the understanding is experiential, so here is an exercise to get the experience that teaches, without having to be tied up, or anything..:)

If you have ever wondered what I am on about, with this stuff, take 5 minutes to *do* this as you read it, 1-2-3 and you will understand my yoga better than my hundred essays can convey.

1. Pinch yourself, in the arm for 30 seconds. Not too hard, just enough to hurt a little. Feel it. Feel how the place feels after the pinching stops.
       OK? That's the "control sample" of this experiment.
2. Pinch yourself, same as the first time, but while holding your breath and thinking no no no no no. Feel it.
      Hurts more, doesn't it? Aches more afterwards.
       That's the resistance result.
3. Pinch yourself, same as the first time, while breathing evenly and thinking "yes, thank you Goddess" over and over like a mantra. Or say, "Thank you Spirit for this body which can feel pain and pleasure". Be sincere, feel gratitude.

   You will find you can pinch yourself 3x as hard without it hurting at all. The spot you pinched will feel tingly and warm afterwards, not painful. That's the insight. Goddess provides.

When I say the pain of life comes from resistance, it is just that simple.
    "No", is resistance. Holding your breath is fear.
    "Yes, thank you" is acceptance and gratitude. Makes the endorphins kick in.

Resistance, makes it hurt more. Holding your breath engages the "fight or flight"... adrenaline. Even breathing tells the body there is nothing to fear.

It's a switch, in your head... surrendering to sensations, with gratitude instead of resistance and judgment, focusing on breathing, flips the switch. Gratitude changes everything. The masochists enjoy the pain, because it is not painful to them! They hold an attitude that turns it into bliss.

That's why BDSM people get upset when folks suggest the games are abusive, not consensual... because grateful acceptance is the whole key to the transcendent experience. It is exactly the opposite, of how it appears.

Try it again, really understand. Pinch yourself, while breathing evenly and thinking "yes, thank you" over and over. Gradually increase the pressure on the pinch till it is as much as you can stand, (keep breathing and offering thanks) ... then go just past that... that's the leap of faith. It is when you are feeling just a little more than you think you can stand, when you take one step past what you think are your limits, that the big pleasure comes. You begin to feel the pleasure all over, as your biochemistry floods your whole system with endorphins. What we Fetish people call "breaking" or "going over the top", and marathon runners call going over the wall. You fall over the edge and feel the bloom of pleasure when it *stops* hurting even tho you are still pinching.... and how the spot tingles after.

The more sensation, the deeper the surrender, the greater the bliss.

If you are blissing on your own endorphin, you have a sense of well being that doesn't want to resist... you are still clearheaded, but you "don't sweat the small stuff". Worrying never solved anything. You naturally act better and make better decisions, because you feel good about yourself. Your natural biochemistry has been reset to its proper balance. Endorphins are the natural "happy drug" that Goddess provides, and it is only because we live in such unprecedented comfort, that we have lost touch with it. When we were wild things, hunting and gathering, we were getting plenty of exercise (the usual way to get endorphin) and we injured ourselves often, but had to keep moving.

Any sensation can release endorphins... I go flying sometimes, on the pain I take from people who are halfway across the planet, when I'm doing healing. My empathy is such that I feel their pain in my own body, and convert it to pleasure... It's resistance that makes me crash...

At other times I fly on the empathy with someone whose endorphins I'm provoking... create bliss in them and share in it by ESP.

Last night I tickled my slave-husband druid over the top, twice just for a warm-up.

The energy he radiates when I do that is so delightful, and contagious intoxicant everyone in the room starts laughing too... you cannot help it. Buddha is in the house.

When he goes over the top, he starts speaking in tongues between giggles, and sometimes he gets stuck there and keeps giggling long after I've stopped tickling him... a few times I've had to reach out with energy to bring him back down to Earth and reel him in, back to himself so he could get a full breath and speak again.

Way gone to blissful giddy gaga land of laughing kriyas... I continued to build slowly on his buzz from sensation, till I had him laughing just as uncontrollably from very firm smacks from a wooden paddle, as from tickling. he was feeling no pain at all... just helpless, out of control laughter and bliss that will have him glowing for days. Living with ease, carried on a wave of blissful synchronicity.

Pinch yourself again, while breathing evenly and thinking "Thank you for the gift of life, of feeling." Focus on being grateful for being able to feel, for having a body... and you will find, that the pinch doesn't hurt... even if you pinch a lot harder. It will even feel warm and tingly, after...

It is about *perceptions*... and perceptions are shaped by beliefs... attitudes... free will choices.

That is the essence of Lamaze childbirth: Breathe, and be grateful... and there is no pain.

Louise Hay says "A problem is a gift you haven't found a use for, yet.." Apply gratitude to any problem, no matter what kind, and your perceptions about the problem will change: you will begin to get deeper insights into the situation that you cannot possibly see when you are stuck in resistance to what Is.